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Any other stepmoms?
How many stepmoms do we have in our midst? I'd love to hear the stories---how many kids, how old were your stepkids when you became part of their lives, have YOU had children since becoming a stepmom, etc? What are/were some of your biggest struggles?
I'm a stepmom of 2. My stepdaughter is 19, and stepson is 15. They were 8 and 4 when I started seeing their dad. We've since had a daughter together and all three kids are quite close, despite the age differences.
I've never been told the horrible "you're not my real mom" thing you see in movies, and I'm grateful. My two stepkids have different moms by the way, so there are two ex's in the picture. Both are reasonable women, concerned for their child's welfare, and I feel blessed for that in that I don't have the friction some people do.
The biggest struggle I've had has been "training" my husband and the other mothers to acknowledge me as a third parent when making decisions. Too often (early on) they and my husband would swap weekends, change schedules, plan visits, make committments, etc without ever cluing me in...yet it was usually ME that had to do the actual accommodating! For example, when I was pregnant with our daughter, the boy's mom would swap weekends with my hubby. Hubby forgets to tell me, and HE works every other weekend! So I find out at the last minute I DO have his then-4yo boy to care for, so I guess I WON'T be going to the mall with a girlfriend, or getting a mani/pedi afterall! Little stuff like that.
I explained to them (a few times) that if I'm to "act" like a parent to their kids (feed, care for, bath, clothe, etc) then I'm to be "treated" like a parent too. Finally got the point across, and honestly, I know I'm lucky with how smoothly things run in general now.
How 'bout you guys?
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