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Despair.
It seems to be everywhere and even more contagious than the H1N1 virus.
It sucks that everyone has so much crap just bringing them down these
days, you know? I mean, how can I enjoy a good whining session when
everyone else is dealing with crap of their own?

Yeah I’m wallowing a little lately.

Kids are sick. One kid apparently “had” mono in the past but doesn’t
have it now and where was I when she had mono? Of course now it is
probably just a virus and we need to ride it out. Awesome, thanks, Doc!
In the meantime, tylenol and motrin is our friend.

My training for upcoming 5Ks, 10K and then the half marathon is a
bit off. Of course I try to push all the harder and then do
nothing…no-thing and then train all the harder.

Hubs remains on vacation
unemployed and dragging out and on since …good Lord, Holly was pregnant
when he was last working a steady, real job with a steady, real
paycheck. I ask…yes, I dared to ask if he had called the union hall
lately to check his staus on the out of work list and he grunts and
shrugs. I know I should be grateful that he didn’t scratch too. But
that wasn’t enough for me. Call me bitchy but I had to wonder OUT LOUD
a little more about this vacation out of work status of his.

I know, I should just shut up and pick up the slack, work more hours
and bring home the bacon. Unfortunately (and fortunately for others)
patient census has been low and has remained low for a number of months
now. I hear it is not exclusive to our unit and our area either. Are
birth rates falling because so many people out there are out of work
and losing their homes, etc; or are we doing such a fantastic job in
the world perinatal medicine that birth rates of sick and premature
infants are dropping off? I’m thinking it’s the times, the economy. I
know I wouldn’t want to have a baby right now the way things are…oh,
wait. I’m dealing with early menopause right now. Me, pregnant? HA!

Yeah, I’m wallowing. Perhaps I’m wallowing just a little too much.
Out walking along the Tidewater Bikeway today I found myself wallowing
just a little bit more. Alone on the trail and alone in my thoughts it
is pretty easy to get carried away like that and I did.

And then I saw it along side the trail of the path…

Just a little bit of hope.

It won’t solve all of my problems, real or overwrought, right now.
But I needed this. I REALLY needed this right now. I picked it up and
put it in my pocket. The power of that one smooth little stone seemed
to make my step a little lighter, a little faster. I actually found
myself smiling…just a little, but I was smiling. I saw another little
piece of hope further up the trail. I left it though because in times
like these, I imagine that there is someone else out there who could
use just a little bit of hope to get them through another day. To
whomever left a little hope along the Tidewater Bikeway, I thank you
from the bottom of my heart. It is exactly what I needed right now
today.

More Adventures in Juggling can be found at http://adventuresinjuggling.wordpress.com