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It pretty much is a no-brainer that being a parent is a freakin’ tough job…unless one is a young person without children. Not to scare those young ones away but not a day goes by where a parent doesn’t stress a little a lot, worry about the future or even the present, feel guilty or feel exhausted. The rewards are amazing though and that is what gets us up in the morning, no matter how early it may be, to start all over again. Nothing beats the very first time your baby looks at you with recognition as something much more than their primary food source. But then the first time they call you mama or da-da ranks pretty high up there. Oh, and when they declare you to be the most beautiful, smartest, strongest mommy or daddy in the whole wide world you find yourself forgetting that week when your hubs was out of town and the little darling only slept maybe 3 hours. When they hug you so tight that it takes your breath away “just because” you forget that time that they “painted” their bedroom walls with the contents of their diaper.

The rewards go on and on and thank goodness that they do because as they grow and mature I am sorry to say that you never stop worrying, stressing, feeling guilty or exhausted. It changes and evolves a little but, sorry, it is part of the package deal of being a parent. Honestly, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

Just this week I found myself stressing and obsessing over the disappointment of one daughter not making the Varsity Cheer team in spite of her doing so well on the JV team over the past year. How could I make her understand why she didn’t make the cut when the sister of one of the “impartial” judges did make it even though she dropped the flyer in the stunts every time when I didn’t know why. I also found myself feeling the physical pain another child was in after a hamstring injury while dancing this last week. If only I could take it away from her. But I can’t. With another I struggle with the dilemma of hovering just a little as she meets another important milestone in her life. I so want to be there as a a helicopter-type mom even though I hate that kind of behavior. It’s a big deal in her life as she starts her very first job yet I know I need to let her do this herself. When do I hold on? When do I let go? It can be so hard sometimes. At the moment, under the Big Top, those were the big dilemmas in my life as a parent. They all were a big deal to me in the moment because it was my moment as a parent.

Then there are the days when we discover even in our own neck of the woods a child just yards from her very own front door is not safe even as she skips happily home. It can be just so hard sometimes. I can’t even imagine the pain that beautiful little girl’s parents must be in right now. It is times like that where I hug my child just a little bit harder and a little bit longer. That’s all I can do because no matter how hard we try or how vigilant we are there are monsters out there. Monsters that are so much more vile than the ones in our little ones’ closets or under their beds. When my own child looks to me wondering how can she keep her own child, my grandchild, safe from these monsters all I can do is say that I don’t know. All I can tell her (and myself) is to be safe, be vigilant, hold on, never look away and pray; pray a lot. I wish I could offer something better, something more certain and true but in a world with real monsters I can’t. Just hold on, hug your children and pray for the family of Sandra Cantu.