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Years ago in an online community that I am part of, a mother who is a lesbian asserted that saying things to your daughter like, “When you get married, you and your husband ...” was a way of communicating to your kids that you expected them to be heterosexual. That, she argued, could cause kids to think that you would not be tolerant of them as anything else. “But, but, but …”  my mind sputtered.
I was aware, in the abstract at least, that one or both of my children might grow up to be homosexual. I wasn’t afraid of that, as there are gay men and lesbian women in our lives, and they have struggles and joys just like heterosexuals. I had never said anything bigoted about homosexuality, of course, but it dawned on me that I had done the equivalent of saying, “When you grow up and become a doctor…” instead of saying that I hoped they would find work that brought them joy. If the kids assumed I had only one path in mind, and theirs was different, would they lie, sneak and/or be ashamed of whom they turned out to be? 
Since that epiphany, I take care to speak of my children’s future partners in neutral terms, letting them know that they need not be fearful if they turn out to have different orientation than I do. I take the same view with regard to religion, as they spend half their weekends attending synagogue and the other half with their father at a fundamentalist Christian church. They will live with me for just 10 more years or so, but I hope to be part of their lives for many more years after that. If I communicate to my children, directly or indirectly, that there is only One Right Way for them to be, I may find myself shut out from their lives entirely. It’s hard to imagine a worse future than that. 

P.S. I am aware that this is a hot-button issue for some people, and the purpose of this post was not to debate whether homosexuality is a choice. My view is probably obvious from my post, but if you are interested in some of the latest research, this story has a good breakdown.