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Question of the Week: Kid Say the Darndest Things
Leave it to a kid to say the most hilarious things without hardly putting in an effort. Today's Bee, ran some great comments from parents and grandparents about their kids. See the comments below and add a few of your own!
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I was at Kohl's one night with all three of my kids. Tyler and Riley, my oldest boys, had to go to the bathroom. I had the baby, Caleb, in the stroller, and all kinds of merchandise atop the stroller. There were men's and women's restrooms, and then a "family" restroom that was an individual room -- no stalls. I decided to let both older boys go in there without me while I stood out in the hallway. They took forever. Finally, Tyler cracked the door and asked me for some quarters. He said the paper towels were all gone and the only other ones you had to pay for. I told him to come out and just shake the water off his hands. He kept going on and on through the store: "I really wanted to buy those towels for Riley. They looked like nicer towels anyways." I finally turned around and said, "Those weren't paper towels, Ty. They were for something else." A little time went by and he then quietly said, "They were selling dynamite in there, too."
I almost died of hysterics right there. thank goodness I wasn't forced to explain the "dynamite."
-- Cara Starr Johnson, Riverbank
My granddaughter Kelsey, who was then 4 years old, met my good friend Gabi, and they both took a liking to each other. At several different events where they were both present, Gabi would ask Kelsey if she knew Gabi's name by asking her, "Kelsey, do you know my name?" and Kelsey would always act shy and say no. After several encounters like this, one day Kelsey turned to Gabi and said very seriously, "How come you don't know your name?
-- Shirley Coelho, Turlock
My 10-year-old grandson, Jack, was very excited to know he had a weekly job of mowing my yard. After several weeks, when he had finished mowing, I turned on the sprinklers as I've always done and he said, "There you go again, Grandma -- you're gonna make it grow!"
-- Sandy Gratton, Modesto
When Elizabeth was 3 years old, her newborn sister, Victoria, was just 2 months old and CRANKY. Victoria kept fussing over and over again, we just couldn't figure it out after trying everything. Finally, she just went to sleep, and when she did, my husband Peter and I sat exhausted. Then Elizabeth looked up at me with her big hazel eyes and said, "Mommy, can you just put Victoria back in your belly?" OMG, my husband and I were laughing and laughing.
-- Rhonda SanFilippo, Modesto
My 6-year-old granddaughter Grace (now 7) pulled me aside and whispered that her friend Alex's big sister had said bad words to them.
"What did she say Grace?" I asked her. With a very serious
expression, Grace replied that the sister had said the "E" word.
Perplexed, I asked, "E word?"
"Yes, she called me an idiot." I thought I'd heard the worst, but then she added. "And, she said the "G" word -- jerk!" Ah, innocence.
-- Lynn Telford-Sahl, Modesto
I keep a journal of the things my grandkids say as we baby-sit for them two days a week. They are so hilarious and make our day. I guess my favorite was the day Caitlin, my then 4½-year-old (she is now 5) was suppose to be taking her nap and she heard the doorbell ring. When she got up, she asked me who was at the door. I explained to her that it was people from a neighborhood church. They left a postcard picture of Jesus, which I showed her. She said, "Oh, Grandma, the next time Jesus comes to the door, will you get me up so I can meet him?!" I said you betcha, you and millions of other people!
-- Kathy Campbell, Riverbank
We have an 11-week-old great-nephew, Kevin Wendel Rey Johnson, who knows no words but speaks volumes. When we hear his skills of communication, his giggles, screams of delight, his oohs, ahhs, and ohhhs, and even his crocodile tears, it always makes us laugh out loud and fills our hearts with unbelievable love and joy. What a wonderful journey it will be to experience his growing into his own voice.
-- Auntie Susan and Uncle Glenn Olson, Manteca
I had taken my girlfriend's three girls -- Annie, Chrissy and Aisha -- to a favorite park. They liked it because it was secluded with a play structure and closed parking lot in which to ride bikes. The play structure had wood chips six inches deep to prevent knee scrapes when a child might fall. Someone had buried about a dozen lemons in and around the swing and pull-up bars. While playing, the girls found one and then another lemon, believing they were "ground lemons" that grew under wood chips. I kept up the story until a grandparent finally straightened them out on the true origin of lemons.
-- David Mollett, Modesto
About seven years ago, I inherited my grandmother's fine china. I didn't have any place to display it, so I went shopping for a china cabinet. We always called paper plates the fine china, jokingly, and still do, and the kids never really had any exposure to the real, breakable fine china. When I came home with this china cabinet and got it all situated, Lauren, my 13-year-old daughter, and I were looking at it in its empty state. Then Lauren asked, "Mom, what are you going to put in it?" I told her, "Fine china." She had this puzzled look on her face and then asked, "You're going to put paper plates in there?"
-- Laura Woods
My children used to be the greatest babies to take to any restaurant. Marina was the eldest by two years over Steven. Even as infants, they were so well behaved because, well, they enjoyed good food. The better the food, the quieter they were, and they weren't too picky. About all you heard was "mmmmmm." One time when Steven was 4 and Marina was 6, we took them to our favorite monthly family diner and you could tell both of them were chomping at the bit to get our favorite meal. When the waitress asked Steven, "Would you like an appetizer, young man?" he replied most adamantly, "No, thanks, I have one already!"
-- Bruce J. Borboa, Turlock
In 2007, my husband and I took our two youngest granddaughters, Tanner, then 8, and Tyler, 7, out to lunch at Latif's in Turlock. After several hands and elbow movements, we had a spilled drink. My husband, called (Papa) told Tyler in a very calm voice that she was fired. After lunch, they were returned to their parents. In the evening, our son telephoned and said that Tyler said Papa had told her she was fired and didn't know what that meant. I explained what had happened and we had a good laugh. The next time we took them out to eat, the first thing that Tyler did when she received her beverage was to put it in front of Papa and told him to take care of it because she didn't want to get fired again! Papa has since passed away in 2008, but we still have a chuckle when we talk about the "firing" of Tyler.
-- Penny Brackett
Watching our neighbors' cows eating, our 3-year-old grandson Zachary noticed the ID tags attached to their ears and remarked, "Those cows have pretty earrings."
-- Brenda Muller, Oakdale


Comments
On our family's annual catfishing trip a couple summers back, my dad and I were discussing that eventually my husband and I would like to have another child. Overhearing us, Caleb, who was 3 at the time, asked me that night if I was going to have a baby in my tummy. I told him not yet, but someday. He replied that he wanted a baby too...in his tummy. Jeht, 5 at the time, told his brother very matter-of-factly, "No, Caleb. You can't have a baby because only girls get reception."
Oh my gosh, those are all so funny and cute! The moment that comes to mind for me was so embarrassing! I hope nobody takes offense, because this was the most innocent thing, but when I was pregnant with my daughter, my stepson (who was 5 at the time), husband and I were eating at Olive Garden. The restaurant was fairly empty, and rather quiet, however there was an asian couple sitting a couple of tables away.
Out of nowhere, my stepson says "I know one thing about that baby you're having!"
I said "What's that?"
He replied (I guess after noticing the asian couple) "It's not going to be a China-baby, because only China-people can have China-babies!"
Oh my god, did I cringe! Luckily the couple (who had EASILY heard this comment), just busted up laughing. In this day of "political correctness" I was very relieved that they realized this was just young innocence speaking!
Here is my recent crack-up moment. My daughters were at work with me and they left to use the restroom. Abby returned with a triumphant look on her face. She had bought a tampon! She loudly announced she bought a "napkin" for a quarter in the bathroom, plus she got her quarter back so she was doubley proud! I still cringe that she was waving that thing around!