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Most days I do
believe that it is great being a girl! Most days it is absolutely true.
Then there are those days where perimenopause plays with me making me
curse Mother Nature for being such a sarcastic, hateful, evil bitch.

Note to the guys that read my blog: this is all about girl stuff so just walk away now.

This perimenopausal journey has been an interesting one and I do try
to be a graceful passenger…as graceful as one can be in the midst of
crazy, shirt soaking hot flashes because that is what I aspire to be, a
woman of grace. I like to think I have adjusted. I’ve tried. I have
mostly accepted the physical changes that comes with a woman my age. I
have accepted that there is no regularity in my life that comes with
living with a 28 day cycle. I can go for weeks and months and just when
I believe that finally, at last menopause is here, along comes Mother
Nature with her gift to me because I am, after all a girl. The only
problem is I am not prepared. I’m at work in the middle of what ends up
being an 18 hour-long very busy shift. Not prepared at all. Neither, it
seems, is anyone else around me.

How can I be surrounded by young, child-bearing age women who don’t have a spare tampon or, worse, a diva cup?

On second thought, I don’t want to borrow a diva cup from anyone.

Eeww!

But really, no one has anything? What’s wrong with you ladies? Oh
yeah, that’s right. The women that I am surrounded by here in the NICU
have just given birth. Not gonna find a tampon here. I could wear one
of those lovely OB pads but no, no thank you.

I dig through the dark recesses of my work bag finding a lot of
pens, gum wrappers and sixteen cents but no tampon. WTH? Oh yeah, the
last time I had a period while at work was like last September…I think.
And no one has a tampon, really? No. I take a quick break and hike out
to my car to see if I have one somewhere in the mom car. Digging in the
glove box I find one.

Yes! I can get through the rest of this shift.

7 AM comes finally and I drag my exhausted self home. I haven’t
slept in twenty hours. I am more than ready for bed. But first I must
take care of my personal business. The only problem is I am out of
feminine hygiene products. What the hell is wrong with me? I have
nothing? Why am I not prepared. Oh yeah, wait. My last menstrual period
was…when was it? Weeks ago? Months ago? Whatever. I need something. I
need it now. I’ve got my jammies on and I am ready for bed so I can’t
just run to the store at this moment. But I do have girls, teen-aged
daughters, living in this house, this house that estrogen built and
rules. I head into the kids’ bathroom and yes, score myself a tampon.
There you go, Mother Nature. Take that! I got your not so monthly gift
covered thanks to my girls!

More Adventures in Juggling can be found at http://adventuresinjuggling.wordpress.com