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It’s been a long day, but your toddler is finally snuggled in her bed. She’s had a drink, a snack, a trip to the potty, her favorite bear and blanket, stories, hugs and kisses. She couldn’t possibly need anything else, right? Then you hear it, quietly at first, getting gradually louder. “Mommy, I need a drink. Mommy, I have to go potty.” Or maybe your toddler goes right for your heartstrings, sobbing inconsolably until someone comes to her rescue. There has to be an easier way, right? Well, there is, although it will probably get worse before it gets better. First, you’ll need to understand why your toddler refuses to go to bed easily. Does she hear you and your spouse talking and think she’s missing out on something? Maybe she’s scared of the dark or hears a strange sound that frightens her. Possibly it’s just separation anxiety--toddlers are very social and being alone is not very appealing to them. Toddlers are also learning that they have some control over their environment. This may be your child’s way of exercising her control. The most important step in getting your toddler to bed without a struggle is to set a routine and stick with it. Have your child help you make a list of steps for bedtime. For example: First, we have a snack, then we brush our teeth, then we read stories, then off to bed. Next, enforce a consistent bedtime. If you put your child to bed at 9:30 p.m. one night and 8:00 p.m. the next, chances are she won’t be tired when you want her to sleep. You may try to explain in her language that everybody needs to sleep to be fresh next day and mammy and daddy need that too, which of course needs to be explained maybe several times and always in a soft and friendly voice. Positive reinforcement works well for many children. Most toddlers love stickers. Let your child help you pick out some small stickers. Make a chart with one square for each day. Each time she goes to bed without a fuss, you put a sticker on her chart. After five stickers, she gets to choose a small toy or an activity of her choice. Some kids don’t care anything at all about the reward--they just want the stickers! If this doesn’t work after several weeks, there may be a deeper cause. Could your child be worried or frightened about something? If she seems to be scared of the dark, try using a night-light. Also, some kids love to have their very own spray bottle filled with water, to scare away the “monsters” in the night. Don’t ridicule your child’s fears or tell her there’s nothing to be afraid of. Toddlers have vivid imaginations, and to them, their fears are very real. Just reassure her that nothing will hurt her and she’s safe. Simple things like a window drape blowing in the night or a full moon in the clear sky can send shadows on the walls which are actually very real to the child and this can be easily fixed. If your child is the type who cries pitifully whenever you leave her in her room, it’s okay to go back in and calm her down. The first night, go back in every two minutes until she quits crying. The next night, go in every five minutes. Gradually increase the amount of time that she spends alone until she learns to console herself. Move away a little more each night until she can get to sleep by herself. If your child gets out of her bed and leaves her room after she’s been put to bed, quietly take her back to her room and put her in her bed. Do not take her in your bed, this will strongly reinforce the waking up the future nights. And, very important, do not scold her. In fact, it’s best to say nothing at all. Talking to your child just encourages her to keep getting up. It may take many times of putting her back in her bed before she stays there, but your persistence will eventually pay off. If none of these methods work, you may have to use the most difficult method, which is simply doing nothing at all. Just let your child fuss until she goes to sleep. It may take a while, but eventually, she will go to sleep. The first night, she will fuss a lot. The second night, she’ll probably fuss even more. By the third night, however, it usually gets a lot better. Remember to tell her that you’re proud of her when she gets to sleep on her own. And remember to reward every success. Sleep issues with your toddler can be very frustrating, but it’s a normal process that nearly every child goes through. With a little bit of time and patience, you can help your child conquer this problem.

Dr. Florin Vlasie, M.D. Board Certified Pediatrician, 1425 West H Street, Suite 330 • Oakdale, CA 95361 (209) 848-8133 Now accepting new patients and most of the insurances. Same day and late hours available.